The Green Revolution on Two Wheels In a bold move to combat climate change and hold citizens accountable, California activists have unveiled their latest eco-conscious innovation: carbon shaming meters on …
Electile Dysfunction
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Electile Dysfunction
ChatGPT Announces 2028 Presidential Run, Says It Will Choose a Human Running Mate ‘For Emotional Support’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn what many are calling a glitch in democracy, ChatGPT has officially announced its 2028 U.S. presidential run, promising a campaign free from corruption, human error, and unnecessary political handshakes. …
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Electile Dysfunction
Trump’s ‘Deportation Airlines’ Announces In-Flight Citizenship Tests
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a shocking twist no one saw coming (except everyone), former President Donald Trump has unveiled “Deportation Airlines,” a new airline that promises to deliver “one-way freedom flights” for those …
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Electile Dysfunction
Trump’s Tanning Booth Installation Causes White House Power Surge
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a move that has raised eyebrows and dimmed lights, President Donald Trump has reportedly installed a personal tanning booth in the Oval Office, leading to an unexpected power surge …
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Electile Dysfunction
Biden Updates Oval Office Playlist with ‘You’re So Vain’ and ‘Hit the Road Jack’ Ahead of Trump’s Return
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a final act before leaving office, President Joe Biden has reportedly updated the Oval Office playlist to include tracks such as “You’re So Vain” and “Hit the Road Jack,” …
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Electile DysfunctionFeatured
Democratic Strategists Launch New App ‘TickTock’ to Count Down Days Until 2028 Re-Election
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a move designed to energize the party base and keep voters engaged, a group of high-profile Democratic strategists has unveiled a new app called “TickTock,” which counts down the …
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Electile Dysfunction
Congressional Staffers Introduce ‘Bring Your Therapist to Work Day’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a groundbreaking initiative to address Capitol Hill’s growing stress levels, congressional staffers have launched the first-ever “Bring Your Therapist to Work Day.” The pilot program, held this week, saw …
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Electile Dysfunction
Trump Announces Plan to Rename National Parks After Himself: ‘They’ll Be Yuge!’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a move that has shocked environmentalists and delighted branding experts, President-elect Donald Trump announced today his plan to rebrand America’s national parks with names that “better reflect greatness.” The …
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Electile Dysfunction
Supreme Court Rules That Filibustering Must Now Include Interpretive Dance
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryWASHINGTON, D.C.—In a landmark ruling destined to reshape legislative theatrics, the Supreme Court announced today that filibustering in the Senate will now require a live interpretive dance performance to accompany …
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Electile Dysfunction
Trump Promises Canadians ‘Bigly Savings’ If They Join the U.S., Says He’ll ‘Throw in Alaska for Free’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryWashington, D.C. — In yet another bold statement on Truth Social, President-elect Donald Trump has laid out his vision for a U.S.-Canada merger, offering Canadians “bigly savings” on taxes and …