In a surprising New Year’s Eve address, President Biden unveiled a last-minute stimulus package aimed at lifting the spirits of Americans nationwide: free noise makers and party hats for every …
Electile Dysfunction
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Electile Dysfunction
Breaking: Politician Caught Using Venmo to Pay for Votes, Notes ‘It’s Just Easier’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a scandal that has rocked Capitol Hill, an unnamed congressperson has been exposed for allegedly using Venmo to secure votes—both figuratively and literally. Screenshots leaked to the press reveal …
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Electile DysfunctionFeatured
Supreme Court Rules: Pineapple on Pizza Not Protected Under Free Speech
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a landmark decision that has ignited debates in kitchens and courtrooms nationwide, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that pineapple on pizza is not protected under the First Amendment’s guarantee …
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Electile Dysfunction
Breaking: Congress Declares December ‘National Procrastination Month’—Effective Next Year
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a bold and long-overdue move, Congress has officially declared December as “National Procrastination Month“, a nationwide celebration of last-minute decisions, delayed responsibilities, and the phrase “I’ll get to it …
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It was a campaign spectacle like no other. Former President Donald Trump’s rallies had always been known for their pageantry and bravado, but his 2024 re-election campaign took things to …
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It was a promise that captured the hearts, minds, and stomachs of the nation: “Free pizza for all by 2025!” Former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio’s bold campaign …
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Electile Dysfunction
A Zoom Call Between World Leaders About Climate Change: The Tech Support Edition
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryScene A Zoom meeting between major world leaders to discuss urgent climate action. Naturally, things get off track immediately. Participants: Joe Biden (USA): President, trying to find the mute button. …
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It started as a routine speech in Iowa, but by the end of the day, Senator Ted Cruz had sparked a controversy that would dominate headlines for weeks. His claim? …
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It started as a simple campaign stop for Senator Lindsey Graham. The plan? Shake hands, kiss babies, and maybe snap a photo or two. But when a selfie with a …
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Senator Elizabeth Warren’s 2024 presidential campaign was all about bold ideas. Medicare for All, student debt cancellation, and taxing the ultra-wealthy were expected to dominate headlines. But instead, her campaign …