Washington, D.C. — In a move as bold as his tweets themselves, President-elect Donald Trump has reportedly rejected the longstanding tradition of showcasing historical art in the Oval Office. Instead, …
Electile Dysfunction
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Electile Dysfunction
House Majority Leader Demands TikTok Ban, Accidentally Uploads Dance Challenge
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn an ironic twist that has left the internet in stitches, House Majority Leader Steve Scalise’s campaign to ban TikTok took an unexpected turn this weekend when a video of …
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Electile Dysfunction
Elizabeth Warren Drafts ‘Vacation Recovery Act’ for All Public Servants
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a move that perfectly balances empathy and legislative ingenuity, Senator Elizabeth Warren has introduced a groundbreaking bill aimed at easing the nation’s most overlooked crisis: the transition back to …
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Electile Dysfunction
Breaking: Senator Proposes Mandatory ‘Thank You’ Emails for All Spam Messages
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a bold legislative move that has left both tech experts and everyday citizens scratching their heads, Senator Marion “Good Intentions” Pritchard (D-Middleton) has introduced a new bill requiring Americans …
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Electile DysfunctionFeatured
Pelosi Declares January 2 “Unfair” to Those Who Have to Work: “We Deserve a Universal Hangover Day!”
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryWashington, D.C. – In a spirited press conference today, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi expressed her outrage over January 2 being a regular workday for some Americans while …
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Electile Dysfunction
White House Announces New Year’s Eve Stimulus: Free Noise Makers and Party Hats
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a surprising New Year’s Eve address, President Biden unveiled a last-minute stimulus package aimed at lifting the spirits of Americans nationwide: free noise makers and party hats for every …
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Electile Dysfunction
Breaking: Politician Caught Using Venmo to Pay for Votes, Notes ‘It’s Just Easier’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a scandal that has rocked Capitol Hill, an unnamed congressperson has been exposed for allegedly using Venmo to secure votes—both figuratively and literally. Screenshots leaked to the press reveal …
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Electile DysfunctionFeatured
Supreme Court Rules: Pineapple on Pizza Not Protected Under Free Speech
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a landmark decision that has ignited debates in kitchens and courtrooms nationwide, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that pineapple on pizza is not protected under the First Amendment’s guarantee …
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Electile Dysfunction
Breaking: Congress Declares December ‘National Procrastination Month’—Effective Next Year
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a bold and long-overdue move, Congress has officially declared December as “National Procrastination Month“, a nationwide celebration of last-minute decisions, delayed responsibilities, and the phrase “I’ll get to it …
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It was a campaign spectacle like no other. Former President Donald Trump’s rallies had always been known for their pageantry and bravado, but his 2024 re-election campaign took things to …