Critics question if it’s legally binding, but supporters love it. In a move that shocked constitutional scholars and thrilled his supporters, President Trump eschewed the traditional presidential oath during his …
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Democratic Strategists Launch New App ‘TickTock’ to Count Down Days Until 2028 Re-Election
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a move designed to energize the party base and keep voters engaged, a group of high-profile Democratic strategists has unveiled a new app called “TickTock,” which counts down the …
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Senate Approves Funding for ‘Secret Bunker’ After Realizing It’s Just a Pizza Hut
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryWASHINGTON, D.C. — In what is being described as the most embarrassing government oversight since the “Bridge to Nowhere,” the Senate has unanimously approved $50 million in funding for what …
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Breaking: Mar-a-Lago Installs Gold-Plated Podium for ‘Official Presidential Poolside Speeches’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryPALM BEACH, FL—In what insiders are calling a “monumental upgrade” to presidential decor, Mar-a-Lago staff have unveiled a custom gold-plated podium that will serve as the centerpiece for President-elect Donald …
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Breaking: Trump Hosts First State Dinner at McDonald’s, Declares It ‘Classiest Ever’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a move that has left both critics and supporters stunned, former President Donald Trump hosted his first state dinner of the new term at none other than McDonald’s, hailing …
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Pelosi Declares January 2 “Unfair” to Those Who Have to Work: “We Deserve a Universal Hangover Day!”
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryWashington, D.C. – In a spirited press conference today, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi expressed her outrage over January 2 being a regular workday for some Americans while …
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Biden Confuses Climate Summit with Ice Cream Social, Declares ‘We’ve Got Rocky Road Ahead!’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a classic mix-up that only adds to his charm, President Joe Biden reportedly confused a high-stakes climate summit with an ice cream social, leaving world leaders both puzzled and …
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Electile DysfunctionFeatured
Supreme Court Rules: Pineapple on Pizza Not Protected Under Free Speech
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a landmark decision that has ignited debates in kitchens and courtrooms nationwide, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that pineapple on pizza is not protected under the First Amendment’s guarantee …
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White House Unveils Jimmy Carter Christmas Ornament: A Festive Tribute to Peanuts, Peace, and Power Outages
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryThe holiday season is upon us, and the White House has unveiled its latest addition to the annual Christmas ornament collection: a dazzling tribute to former President Jimmy Carter. The …
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Elizabeth Warren Proposes Revolutionary Plan to Fix Literally Everything, Probably Before Lunch
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryElizabeth Warren, the Senate’s reigning queen of plans, has done it again. Known for her ability to churn out detailed policy proposals faster than most of us can decide what …