In a move that has left both critics and supporters stunned, former President Donald Trump hosted his first state dinner of the new term at none other than McDonald’s, hailing …
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Pelosi Declares January 2 “Unfair” to Those Who Have to Work: “We Deserve a Universal Hangover Day!”
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryWashington, D.C. – In a spirited press conference today, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi expressed her outrage over January 2 being a regular workday for some Americans while …
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Biden Confuses Climate Summit with Ice Cream Social, Declares ‘We’ve Got Rocky Road Ahead!’
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a classic mix-up that only adds to his charm, President Joe Biden reportedly confused a high-stakes climate summit with an ice cream social, leaving world leaders both puzzled and …
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Electile DysfunctionFeatured
Supreme Court Rules: Pineapple on Pizza Not Protected Under Free Speech
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryIn a landmark decision that has ignited debates in kitchens and courtrooms nationwide, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that pineapple on pizza is not protected under the First Amendment’s guarantee …
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White House Unveils Jimmy Carter Christmas Ornament: A Festive Tribute to Peanuts, Peace, and Power Outages
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryThe holiday season is upon us, and the White House has unveiled its latest addition to the annual Christmas ornament collection: a dazzling tribute to former President Jimmy Carter. The …
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Elizabeth Warren Proposes Revolutionary Plan to Fix Literally Everything, Probably Before Lunch
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryElizabeth Warren, the Senate’s reigning queen of plans, has done it again. Known for her ability to churn out detailed policy proposals faster than most of us can decide what …
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TIME Names Donald Trump 2024 Person of the Year: Apocalypse Bingo Card Now Full
by Tom Fooleryby Tom FooleryMove over, Gandhi. Step aside, MLK. Pack it up, Einstein. Donald Trump has been crowned TIME’s 2024 Person of the Year, cementing his status as the most important human to …