LEAKED MEMO
TO: All White House Staff
FROM: Office of Operational Excellence
SUBJECT: Mandatory Reading of The Art of the Deal
DATE: January 20, 2025
MEMORANDUM:
As we embark on a new era of leadership under President Donald J. Trump, it is imperative that all staff members familiarize themselves with the guiding principles of this administration. To that end, every member of the White House staff is required to read and master The Art of the Deal by Friday, January 24, 2025. Failure to comply with this directive will result in reassignment or immediate dismissal.
RATIONALE:
The Art of the Deal is not just a book; it is a blueprint for success. Understanding the “Trump Way” is critical to executing policy, negotiating effectively, and communicating the President’s vision. Every decision, from press releases to policy recommendations, must reflect the principles outlined in this text.
ACTION ITEMS:
Mandatory Reading: Each staff member has been provided with a signed copy of The Art of the Deal, complete with a gold-plated bookmark engraved with “Think Big, Win Big.”
Daily Quizzes: Starting January 21, daily quizzes will be administered to assess comprehension. Sample questions include:
What is the first step in making a deal?
How many golf courses does the President own, and why does it matter?
What’s the optimal number of exclamation points for a tweet?
Seminars: Attendance is required at daily seminars featuring senior advisors. Topics include:
“Negotiating Like a Trump”
“Winning Twitter Wars Without Losing Face”
“When to Bluff: A Primer”
Practical Application: All staff must demonstrate mastery of the material through real-world applications, including mock negotiations and simulated press briefings.
ENFORCEMENT:
Non-compliance will result in reassignment to non-critical roles, such as “Assistant to the Deputy of the White House Bowling Alley,” or termination of employment. The President demands excellence, and there will be no room for mediocrity.
ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Cabinet nominees are not exempt. Each nominee must complete a personalized “Art of the Deal Boot Camp” by the end of the month.
Staff are encouraged to embody the book’s principles in all interactions. Remember, branding and confidence are key.
FINAL REMINDER:
This administration is built on the foundation of winning. Every handshake, every press release, and every tweet must reflect the excellence outlined in The Art of the Deal. Master the book, master your role—and together, we’ll make America great again.
Yours in excellence,
Office of Operational Excellence
