TOP SECRET MEMORANDUM
FROM: Central Intelligence Agency, Tech Innovations Division
TO: Director of National Intelligence
SUBJECT: Termination of Project Veritascope – “Truth Detector” App
Introduction
As directed by Executive Order 789-B, the CIA undertook the development of a groundbreaking mobile application, codenamed Veritascope, designed to detect lies in real-time. The project aimed to enhance transparency and accountability within the federal government by allowing the app to be used during speeches, debates, and congressional hearings.
The results of the beta testing phase, however, have compelled us to recommend the immediate cessation of the project.
Development and Deployment
The Veritascope app utilizes advanced AI-driven speech analysis algorithms, detecting inconsistencies, evasive phrasing, and rhetorical misdirections. Beta devices were issued to key Capitol Hill personnel for real-world testing during live sessions of Congress.
Within 15 minutes of use, the app displayed critical malfunctions, resulting in the following issues:
System Overload: During a three-hour Senate debate on infrastructure, the app overheated, displaying repeated error messages: “TOO MANY FALSEHOODS DETECTED. SYSTEM FAILURE.”
Excessive Alerts: In a single House committee meeting, Veritascope issued 478 “Falsehood” alerts, causing audible disruptions and confusion among participants. One congressman was quoted saying, “It’s like the thing’s allergic to politics!”
Unintended Consequences: When introduced to live media events, the app mistakenly flagged an NBC weatherman reporting on a 30% chance of rain as “Severe Misrepresentation.”
Feedback from Participants
The beta testers provided candid feedback:
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“It went off so much I thought it was Morse code.” – Senior Senator from Texas.
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“It’s ruining our process. Nobody here tells the whole truth—what’s the point?” – Anonymous House Representative.
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“Do you have a version that lets me turn off the alerts for myself?” – Cabinet Member (name redacted).
Incident Report
During a joint session of Congress, the app initiated a self-destruct protocol when introduced to a televised debate on the national budget. Subsequent investigations revealed the app was overwhelmed by simultaneous claims of fiscal responsibility from both parties.
Conclusion and Recommendations
The Veritascope project has been deemed unfit for operational deployment due to the inherent incompatibility of its design with the nature of political discourse. We recommend the app’s core technology be repurposed for less volatile fields, such as poker tournaments or reality TV competitions.
Moving forward, we advise against pursuing further transparency-enhancing technologies within the legislative environment. For now, the CIA will maintain its focus on traditional methods of intelligence gathering—ones that don’t explode under the weight of ambition.
END MEMORANDUM
Leaked Addendum: Internal discussions have suggested gifting prototype devices to the United Nations as part of an “international diplomacy experiment.” Further testing is pending approval.
