SPOKANE, WA — It was supposed to be just another April Fools scroll for Greg Tander, a 43-year-old forklift technician and part-time political doomscroller. But one glance at a compilation of Trump-themed Politicule headlines sent Greg spiraling into what doctors are calling “acute satire realism disorder.”
“I thought Politicule was a joke site,” Greg said, visibly shaken. “But then I saw a headline from last year that said ‘Trump Proposes National Hug Ivanka Day’ and thought… yeah, that actually tracks.”
Politicule Articles That Wrecked Greg’s Grip on Reality
While browsing through a “Trump” tag archive on the site, Greg reportedly encountered the following headlines — all published as satire, yet disturbingly plausible:
- “Trump Declares Himself Winner of Election… Any Election”
- “Melania Replaced With Life-Size Cardboard Cutout at Events — No One Notices”
- “Trump Vows to Build New Wall, This Time Around Himself”
- “Trump Launches NFT Line Featuring His Own Mugshots, Sells Out in 6 Minutes”
- “Donald Trump Opens Presidential Library, Only Has One Book: Art of the Deal (Signed by Himself 500 Times)”
Greg tried laughing. He really did. But the more he read, the more he realized… none of these headlines seemed beyond the realm of possibility. “I don’t know if Politicule is writing satire or just doing slightly early reporting,” he muttered, staring into his coffee like it held answers.
Experts Say This Is Becoming Common
“People used to come to satire for relief,” said political psychologist Dr. Norma Keene. “But in the Trumpiverse timeline, satire has begun to feel like a leaked government script.”
She added that Trump’s tendency to self-parody has “rendered traditional satire structurally unstable,” and advised readers to “sit in a dark room and listen to NPR until the feeling passes.”
Trump Responds… Sort Of
When reached for comment, Trump said “I love Politicule. People say I’m funnier than they are. They stole half their material from me. I was doing satire before they were even born. And let’s be honest, if it’s funny, it’s probably true. Especially if it’s about me.”
He then offered to license his name to the site, suggesting they rename it “Trumpicule: Satire So Good It Might Be Real.”
As of press time, Greg was last seen mumbling, “I think Jon Stewart quit for a reason,” while checking to see if The Onion had merged with C-SPAN.
