WASHINGTON, D.C. – “Hatching” an idea that has economists and poultry farmers equally baffled, President Donald Trump has announced his latest economic plan: replacing the U.S. dollar with eggs as the nation’s new currency. Calling it the “Eggonomic Revolution,” Trump claims this bold financial shift will put an end to inflation, restore economic stability, and finally give breakfast the recognition it deserves.
“Look, the dollar isn’t worth what it used to be,” Trump told a packed rally in Iowa. “But eggs? Everybody loves eggs! They’re valuable, they’re delicious, and they’re only going up in price. It’s common sense!”
Scrambling the Economy for a Better Future
Trump’s plan, tentatively titled “Operation Golden Yolk,” proposes a full transition from the Federal Reserve-backed dollar to an egg-based currency system. The plan would peg the value of eggs to national inflation rates, with Trump arguing that “no one’s ever been upset getting paid in eggs.”
“We used to have the gold standard—great standard, the best standard,” he continued. “But gold? Too complicated. Too shiny. Eggs? Everybody understands eggs!”
Under the proposal, workers would receive their salaries in eggs, banks would store cartons instead of cash, and Social Security checks would be replaced with monthly egg deliveries. The Treasury Department, caught off guard by the proposal, has reportedly begun researching how to print serial numbers on yolks.
Eggonomists React
Financial analysts are divided on the feasibility of Trump’s new plan. Some are calling it “an exciting opportunity to crack open new markets,” while others fear a nationwide currency collapse should chickens go on strike.
“This is unprecedented,” said Dr. Helen Featherstone, professor of Agricultural Economics at MIT. “If implemented, we’d see major changes to the banking system, including egg-based savings accounts, egg mortgages, and, of course, egg laundering.”
Trump, however, remains unfazed by criticism, arguing that eggs have already proven themselves as a reliable investment. “Look at prices! A few years ago, eggs were cheap. Now they’re valuable. If you had invested in eggs instead of the stock market, you’d be rich! It’s genius. Frankly, I should’ve thought of this sooner.”
International Impact & The Future of ‘Eggonomic’ Policy
World leaders have yet to comment on Trump’s latest economic proposal, though sources inside the European Union suggest they are considering adopting a “EuroYolk” system in response. Meanwhile, China has reportedly stockpiled millions of chickens in an effort to “control the global egg supply.”
Back home, Trump supporters are embracing the plan, with some MAGA rallies now featuring live chickens and “Eggonomics 101” workshops. T-shirts reading “Make America Crack Again” have already sold out.
The Federal Reserve has not issued an official response but did confirm that, at present, eggs remain “highly unstable, prone to cracking under pressure, and not a viable financial instrument.” Nevertheless, insiders report that the agency has begun testing egg-based ATM transactions, though progress has been slow due to repeated machine malfunctions.
As Trump continues to push his “Eggonomic Revolution,” one thing is clear: the U.S. financial system may soon be unrecognizable. With eggs now rivaling gold in perceived value, Americans face a future where checking accounts come with expiration dates, Wall Street traders monitor poultry production, and the phrase “liquid assets” takes on an entirely new meaning.
