In a bold push to reshape the federal government “one typo at a time,” former President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday directing the shutdown of the Department of Education — or, as his press release spelled it, the “Department of Edukation.” While only Congress can legally dismantle the agency, Trump’s directive calls on Education Secretary Linda McMahon to “take all nessessary steps” to facilitate its closure “quickly, beautifully, and maybe even by the weekend.”
Trump’s Grand Misspelling
During a hastily arranged Rose Garden ceremony flanked by oversized flashcards and a bald eagle ice sculpture, Trump described the move as “historic, tremendous, and spell-checked by the best people.” He held up a printed copy of the executive order, proudly displaying the title “Edukation Exit Plan,” which had been highlighted in gold Sharpie.
“We’re getting rid of it, folks. Too much learning, too much reading, and way too many student loans,” Trump said. “We’re going back to basics: street smarts, gut instinct, and maybe a few YouTube videos. That’s how I did it, and look where I am.”
The Technical Details
According to White House sources, McMahon’s “Department Closure Playbook” includes steps like auctioning off unused textbooks, reassigning staff to WWE’s creative writing team, and turning student loan collection into a “celebrity apprentice”-style game show. Essential services such as special education and Pell Grants will remain, “as long as they don’t involve algebra.”
A footnote in the order also instructs the Library of Congress to “stop being so smug.”
Mixed Reactions
Educators, spelling enthusiasts, and basic grammarians across the country expressed confusion and concern. “At first I thought this was a parody. Then I saw the typo was real,” said one high school English teacher. “I wept.”
Social media lit up within minutes of the press release, with #Edukation trending alongside #FacepalmFriday. One viral meme showed a chalkboard with “Edukation is importent” scrawled across it — signed “Mr. President.”
Supporters, however, applauded the move. “Finally, a president who says what we’re all thinking: school is hard,” said one man wearing a shirt that read “Dropouts 4 Trump.”
Early Results and Next Steps
The Department of Education building has already seen staff reductions, with several offices reportedly replaced by a souvenir kiosk selling “Make Math Great Again” erasers. Trump hinted that the closure may be followed by the creation of a new agency: the Department of Real Life Learning, to be headquartered in the food court of a New Jersey mall.
As the nation grapples with the implications of an executive order written at a fourth-grade reading level, one thing is clear: the line between parody and policy continues to blur — and Trump’s “Edukation” plan may just be his most on-brand initiative yet.
