In a move that blends his business acumen with political showmanship, President-elect Donald Trump has floated the idea of turning the State of the Union address into a pay-per-view event. Trump, known for his flair for the dramatic, unveiled the plan during a press conference at Mar-a-Lago, where he assured Americans it would be “the most watched State of the Union in history—believe me.”
Trump’s Vision: Politics Meets Prime-Time
“People love watching me. They love it,” Trump declared. “The State of the Union is boring, folks—so boring. But with me? It’s going to be an incredible event, like WrestleMania, but classier. And we’re going to make so much money doing it. So much.”
The plan, dubbed “Union Vision: Making Speeches Great Again,” would feature tiered pricing, with basic access to the speech costing $5.99 and premium packages going for $29.99. Premium subscribers would gain access to exclusive perks such as:
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A live feed of Trump’s facial expressions while listening to the opposition party’s rebuttal.
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Access to a “Trump Trivia” game where viewers guess which words he’ll repeat the most.
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Behind-the-scenes footage of Trump’s pre-speech prep, including hair touch-ups and tie selection.
“Everyone loves premium content,” Trump said, “and let me tell you, this will be premium. You won’t get this on boring old C-SPAN.”
The Premium Experience
The premium packages also promise access to “Trump’s Director’s Commentary,” where the president offers live, unfiltered thoughts during the broadcast. “If Nancy Pelosi rolls her eyes, I’ll say it. If someone coughs, I’ll call it out. People need to know what’s really happening,” Trump explained.
Trump hinted at a possible VIP tier, offering one lucky viewer the chance to be flown to Mar-a-Lago to watch the speech live, complete with a dinner of Trump Steaks and a photo op. “It’s going to be huge, folks. And the ratings? Through the roof.”
Critics React
Unsurprisingly, the proposal has drawn mixed reactions. Critics argue that monetizing a constitutionally mandated address undermines its significance. “The State of the Union isn’t a reality show,” said Senator Earnest Mann (D-MA). “Or at least it shouldn’t be.”
Trump, however, dismissed the criticism. “They’re just jealous they didn’t think of it first,” he said. “It’s called capitalism, folks. Look it up.”
Public Reaction
Online, reactions have ranged from enthusiastic to bemused. Fans of the idea have suggested adding features like a live laugh track or interactive polling. Critics, meanwhile, have mocked the proposal, suggesting Trump’s next move will be selling naming rights to federal buildings.
“Honestly, I’d pay just to see which Republican forgets to clap,” one Twitter user joked. Another wrote, “Can we at least get a blooper reel of Trump’s practice takes?”
What’s Next?
Trump has reportedly tasked his Hollywood allies, including Sylvester Stallone and Jon Voight, with crafting the event’s production value. Rumors suggest he’s considering an opening act featuring Kid Rock and Lee Greenwood.
“Folks, we’re going to take the State of the Union to a whole new level,” Trump said. “And the best part? The money goes right back into America. Maybe we’ll even use it to build the wall—finally!”
While Congress is expected to debate the legality of the plan, Trump is confident. “They’ll cave. They always do. And if they don’t? Well, I’ll just stream it on Truth Social. Believe me, people will watch.”
Whether this plan becomes reality or not, one thing is certain: under Trump, even the most traditional political events come with a twist—and a price tag.
